Beginning at 12noon (UK time) at the Edinburgh Fringe yesterday, Welsh comic Mark Watson began hosting his third annual marathon show. Two years ago he debuted his “Very Ambitious 24 hour Show”. Last year it was the an historical “2005 Years in 2005 minutes”.

As I write this, he is at the nine hour mark for his “Seemingly Impossible 36 Hour Circuit of the World”. Part-audience participation show, part-endurance test, these wildly unpredictable shows have been eagerly anticipated cult events in the Fringe. Locked in a room at the Pleasance Dome, Watson and his crowd will explore countries around the globe via audience activities, historical re-enactments, scavenger-hunts and cheeky challenges in the outside world. These include locating naff celebrities and inviting them to the show, sending “adventurers” out to the world to accomplish tasks or to see how far they can travel away from Edinburgh in 36hours… and having international correspondents in New York and Melbourne!   

21:00 AEST 14/8/06:  Andrew McClelland, Dan Walmsley, myself and a small contingent of friends gather in the small room in Collingwood, Melbourne. We are the official “Australian Embassy” linked to the UK audience via internet and expensive international telephone calls. There is a nine hour time difference between our countries. Their day is our night. We are determined to stay awake.

See the various citizens of the 36 Hour Show Official Australian Embassy in Collingwood, Melbourne.

Lawrence Leung – Me

Andrew McClelland – The Ambassador

Dan Walmsley – Communications Minister

22:00 Mark Watson commissions the Australian Embassy (insensitively referring to us as “colonial friends”) to write the official anthem for the show.

We pen lyrics, record the song over the next few hours with small but vocal choir with music composed by Dan Walmsley (he was Music Director of last year’s 2005min Show).

A photo of the Watsonia Singers:

Listen here

The lyrics are as follows:

L’anthem du Watsonia.
(The Anthem of Watsonia.)

There’s a place in our hearts,
and also on a stage.
Where kindly people gather
regardless of their age.

To learn of the world’s nations,
from Paraguay to Peru,
with the spirit of our comrades,
we gaily sing to you!

Wat-so-ni-a!
Wat-so-ni-a!
A place that doesn’t exist!
Wat-so-ni-a!
Wat-so-ni-a!
Five stars in the list.

On the fourteenth day of August,
around the crack of noon.
Our glorious state was born,
from Mark Watson’s gaping womb.

We are pilgrims – sleepless pioneers
Armed with hope as a duvet.
Our spirits rise with national pride,
like a patriotic souflee.

Wat-so-ni-a!
Wat-so-ni-a!
A place we call our homia.
Wat-so-ni-a!
Wat-so-ni-a!
When we don’t eat we get bonier.

From the embassy in Melbourne,
to the lovely Pleasance Dome.
From count-r-y to country,
like kidnapped garden gnomes.

With Mark our benevolent leader
And Emily his Eva Braun.
Aye! We’ll all follow them blindly,
Although committing suicide in a fortified bunker would make us forlorn.

Wat-so-ni-a!
Wat-so-ni-a!
It’s people couldn’t be merrier!
Wat-so-ni-a!
Wat-so-ni-a!
Mark should’ve won the Perrier!

Hearts held high to heaven,
We embrace secular humanism!
So unlike tired old Europe,
we’ve no fear of a schism!

Three dozen hours of good times,
We hope we’ve got the legs.
Time enough to fall in love and marry.
Or boil 720 eggs.

Wat-so-ni-a!
Wat-so-ni-a!
It’s citizens use their melons.
Wat-so-ni-a!
Wat-so-ni-a!
Not one convicted felon.

(key up)
Wat-so-ni-a!
Wat-so-ni-a!
So dear to our hearts!
Wat-so-ni-a!
Wat-so-ni-a!
Greater than the sum of its parts!

3:10am 15/8/06
Download us singing the National Anthem of Watsonia by clicking here

Mark Watson downloads our song and plays it to his UK audience. They greet it with raptuous applause and Mark commissions John the Balladeer to write a song for the Australians. A cultural exchange is planned.

3:50am

The audience of the “36 Hour Show” in Edinburgh sing to us, down a telephone line, their anthem for Australia.

To listen to their McClelland-inspired “Anthem For The Australians” as penned by John the Balladeer, violinist Amy Butterworth and sung by Mark Watson’s audience members, click here.

It’s a beautiful moment of Anglo-antipodean cultural exchange.

5:36am

The streaming audio from Edinburgh (recorded “live” at the gig at chortle.co.uk ) seems to cut out every five minutes. We are also frustrated by the lack of webcam at their end which regularly puts us in the dark about what is happening. Daniel attempt to falls asleep. Andrew distracts himself with Worlds of Warcraft. I’m almost asleep… but -

6:10am

The phone rings. Mark and his merry travellers have crossed the International Date Line in the Pacific and are heading towards Australia in their show. In anticipation of reaching our shores in their hypothetical trip, Mark asks us “colonials” to design an official Flag for the show.

7:30am

The Proud Noble Flag of Watsonia

The Watsonian flag is unique amongst the cavalcade of modern nation-states in that it contains a picture of an hourglass and a soufflé.

“Ave Watsonia!”

See a video of us erecting the flag.

We rename our embassy: South Watsonia.

11:00am

I go to sleep for an hour and a half… before waking up and going to work for the rest of day. I leave the Embassy in the capable yet shaky-cos-too-tired hands of the Ambassador and Communications Minister.

Andrew and Dan set up an Online Store for Watsonia merchandise – Tshirts, mugs, g-strings with the Watsonia Flag! In keeping with the policy of the show, we will forward all profits (about 2 quid per item) to Mark’s selected charity.

Only now does Andy get a few hours of sleep.

14:30pm

Meanwhile, our Edinburgh counterparts make a reproduction of our flag. They later present Australian comic Adam Hills a T-shirt with our Watsonia flag design on it. He announces that he will wear it later that afternoon (UK time) on a live-via-satellite cross to Rove Live (Ten Network, Australia).

The Embassy is rung up and commissioned to pen an ode to “Arthur Smith: A Study in Blue.”

17:30

Frustrated by isolation (no webcam and little communication) and Mark’s constant patronising references to us as “colonials”, the Embassy hatches a plot to secede from the motherland and form an independant nation.

Preparations for a Revolution: videos are shot, flag designs changed and a declaration of independence is drafted. The Declaration is timed for 8pm.

I return to the Embassy amidst an exciting conspiratorial air. I help edit a couple of threatening videos. A Revolution is brewing… 

21:00

We declare Independance. We have succeded are now the “Grand Duchy of New South Watsonia”.  

 Our demands: Get a webcam or we shall hurt a Scotsman every hour!

See the video message of our Declaration of Independance, a passionate speech by the Ambassador that initiates hostilities and lists our demands. Will they give into our demands or brand us as terrorists and shut us out from their show forever?

22:10

Adam Hills live-via-satellite in Edinburgh appears on TV show “Rove Live” in Australia. He is wearing the T-shirt emblazoned by our flag design. We, the Rebels, record this and discuss whether to keep the video as a bargaining chip for our demands.

Soon after in Edinburgh, our compatriot Adam Hills learns of our rebellion and is nominated by the Northerners to be the Peace Negotiator between our two nations.

A Peace Offering is made: 

North Watsonia will (1) find a webcam and (2) deliver us pizzas to our Melbourne address (ordered online from Scotland) in exchange for us (1) ending the rebellion and (b) uploading the video of Adam’s “Rove Live” TV appearance.   

Despite the truce, we still send our “disturbing videos” of our threats to slightly harm a Scotsman and to seriously injure yet another Scotsman. 

These threats may be a bit out-of-date considering the new fledgling peace accord, but it shows the Rebels are serious(!) and besides we spent a bit of time making them. 

22:50 

Peace at last! Pizzas arrive! They have a webcam!

Both North and South can finally see each other. They cheer when they see us waving in front of the webcam the Pizzas of Peace they promised us. A historical moment sealed with ham and cheese.

This is moment is celebrated in ”Ballad of Peace (of Pizza)” by our own Balladeer Janet McLeod.

We change our name back to “South Watsonia” and surrender the Rove Live interview for our Northern “friends” to enjoy.

See our Flag design on “Rove Live” in nice video detail click here or in lego-block quality click here.  (Dan warns you may need Quicktime7).

1:20am AEST 16 August 06
The Northerners call and give us another task. To greet an audience member who has left the show and will be arriving at Melbourne Airport after a long-haul flight. Having only an hours sleep in the past day, I must retire to deep sleep.

4:45am

Meanwhile, Ambassador Andrew and Janet McLeod pick up Heather from Melbourne airport. She does not know what they will look like so they wield signs with her name. 

A “Cutural Exchange of Gifts”: Heather and the the Embassy representatives exchange flags (printed in Melbourne) and artwork from Edinburgh (the first commissioned portrait drawn during the Edinburgh show). They bring her back to the Embassy. An historical event – a citizen has visited both North and South Watsonia in a single 36hours !!!

8:00am

I return to the Embassy to witness the final hour of the “36 Hour Show”.

9:00am 16 August 06

It’s over!

Well done to Mark Watson (truly a wonderful performer) and the people in Edinburgh. Also thanks to Adam Hills and Laura for being our UK representatives and Dean the UK web guy. In the Southern Embassy, well done folks for making the distance and providing entertaining contributions to a show happening on the other side of the planet. Congratulations especially to Ambassador Andrew McClelland for his amusing and benevolent leadership and Dan Walmsley providing messianic technical skills, editing/audio/internet facilities – and his Collingwood flat.

The recording of the “Cultural Exchange of Gifts” at Melbourne Airport and a final ”Goodbye Message” form the Embassy can be witnessed here.

For the FULL STORY of the birth of a nation… and more fun stuff, visit Dan Walmsley’s wonderful Official South Watsonia Website.

For more information about the reason for all of this: Mark Watson’s Seemingly Impossible 36 Hour Circuit of the World.

If you want to know who the heck Mark Watson is, he can be found lurking on myspace.